light and dark ... prelude

I am still denying what is happening around my family...

I slow down of blogging due to some domestic disturbance... However, what I considered as domestic disturbance was not just domestic only - it had something to do with light and dark side of life.

I had always considered Ving's disturbed emotionl as personality disorder and psychiatric related. However last month -I found out that the dark side had played a part in it and she had been influnced deeply.

It was an disagreement between us and the flame of fury was torching in our house. 1 pair of closed couple ( SH and HX) had come over to help to cool things down. SH and HX are both christian and deeply devoted. After cooling the things down, they had offered us a prayer and I did not resist it. During the prayer, Ving had gone into a trance, eventhough her voice tone was the same, however she had talked in the way different from the past. I had encountered such way of talking in the past and I thought Ving was in a hysteria state. She looked fatigue and kept yawning. She told the couple to start praying , claiming that she felt very discomfort when they pray. HX told me that she was possessed. She asked me how long had it been going on - I told her for years I had noticed her in such state but I thoughy she was hysteric. Nope - they told me this a state of being possessed.
That night - a short prayer was done and the "thing" seem to be exocised.

I was a little bit confused than but tried to accept what was going on in my family. I had gone through few serious discussion with HX,SH and some other core member of the church. Indeed, Ving was in a state of being influenced and something possessed.

I was confused about her state and bought severe books from tha amazon. The book "Hostage of Devil" by Martin Malachi had clearly described the process of being possessed. I was in a denying state but still opted to act - I had agreed to become a christian. I had no choice - my knowledge and experience had told me that there are 2 known effective way to chase such "thing" out - the chinese temple way and the way of christian. I had a wide knowledge of buddism(my parent is devoter of Nichirin Shoshu (Soka Gakai member)) and I was once deeply devoted to such teaching of Nichirin Shoshu but later defaulted as I dipped into it deeper.  The chinese temple way were risky - you don't know which would work and need to try here and there and I don't have the "american time" to do so and I don't what to hand over my wife to some medium or so to do it...Christianity had become my last resort.

Ving is specially gifted - she could see "things" and even kicked one of the things back in her childhood. She was interested in such spiritual matter since 6 months ago when she taken up Yoga and met this Yoga teacher. The teacher likes to go for fortune telling using rice. I knew the truth behind such ritual - most of the teller had a spirit beside them, the spirit would tell the teller what to say. I had a grand grand uncle who practice such ritual - he used poker card instead. He had told us that he knew what happen now and then but could never tell the future. He never got married and used what he earned on the same day. I could not stopped Ving as she told me after she been to such place. Since then, some spirit had gone into Ving's dream and build her a house inside her mind - the spirit had started to teach her to play tarrot card in her mind. The spirit had made her believed that she could be famous and rich after she learnt it and helped others with the trick.
One of the day during my night shift, Ving had left the children with one of the church member and drove out. I found out later when I called home. I tried to call Ving and she tearing and told me don't know she was - she told me she was in a graveyard. I tried to use th 3G mode but couldn't get any image as no 3G coverage over her side. Some of the church member had tried to drive around and find her and failed. Finally I decided to take both of the children to me in the hospital and asked the church members to stopped searching. 10 mins later, Ving had miraclelly returned to home. She was unable to recall where she had been to. The next day when I got home I opened the image recorder on Ving's car and found that it was blank - no recording during the period. According to the mileage she had traveled about 80kms.....She was in a trance state when I got home and I had talked with the evil things within - the evil things use "we" so it is things instead of thing. I doped her with aprazolam that night when she wanted to eat some instant noodle. ( she dislike the instant noodle in a hatred way ....it was not her...). When she woke up the other day - she was better and I knew drug could suppress them - but not chase them away permanently.

During one of the morning, I was talking with Ving and Ving told me that she had a dream about something evil going in our house and 1 pair of couple in black had come over to our house to help out. She said, I had agreed after they explained to me. The man had stepped on her foot and reassured her to calm down and the lady had gone into our house and yelling "Jackal, please come out " in a very soft way. Ving had asked me what "Jackal" means - and I told her that it is a kind of coyete like dog. She was described the scene and suddenly asked me if I wanted to join them in the real world ? I asked Ving - who was them and what they practiced. She said the them was the couple in dark and she don't know where were them , but told me if I nod my head - someone would come to our doorstep and lead the way. After I joined, we would be very rich and nothing needed to be worried in the future. I was shocked and knew that it was the temptation from the dark side. I resisted it and knew that she was talking again under influence.

2 more exorcist was done but however the things enter her again and again. A wrong approach was used as the church members had denied what Ving saw and told her that she would be ok if she believed in God. Ving's has used such approach as an excuse and resisted the act of saving her. She claimed that she felt no support at all and didn't like the way the church member talk. During this period, I had endured verbal and physical assault from Ving. However now I knew she was under influenced and tolerated her. However the physical assault was unbearable - she had left wounds and scar over my forearm and body.
HX had told me that after consulting with the visiting pastor( the church was lead by an elder instead ) the best way is to sent her away. She had mentioned a place where she had served before in the north. She told me the Reverend was a good person and she saw many who were possessed cured in such place.

I had do some search over the internet and did not want to sent Ving over there(www.hebron-kb.org) Ving was not psychotic nor Drug/alcohol abuser. Why should we sent her there ? Later I sought help with one of the visiting psychiatrist. He is deputy chief of staff of a local psychiatric hospital. He had offered help and promised to arrange a place for Ving if admission is needed.

It was a big gamble for me - to sent her where ? to cure her and let her go....

finally I acted....

 

hopefully someone "repair" him elsewhere...

It was a bad night - I managed to get a few hrs of sleep and was darn tired. When I got the call it was 6:00am. I went to the bathroom, brused my teeth and walked toward the ED. The patient was a male who looked familiar. When I sat down, I did the usual routine of asking his name. It was a strenous agony being a patient in Taiwan. A patient would need to said out his/her name few times during his visit to the hospital. The nurse, the doctor, the lab technician, the pharmacist would ask the patient's name before performing their duty. The hospital evaluation committee had stressed on this topic and it is a major field concerning patient safety.
The patient replied me, " I forgot" when I asked him the routine question. I had a bad feeling when I got the answer - the patient was either suffering from amnesia, a mxrxn or a trouble seeking A-hole. I asked him again politely and explained that I did so because the regulation required me to do so. He still answered " I don't know" and asked me why it took me so long to get to the ED. Another FxCxxxG A who thought he is the big daddy after paying up 250NT at the front desk.

 I was not in the mood of starting a fight. I apologized to him and told him that I need to brushed my teeth as I didn't want my bad breath to affect my patient.  I apologized again and told him that I respect his decision of unwilling to saying his name if he didn't want to do so....He than showed me his left thumb which suffered from a penetrating injury. After the examination I told him that he needed a tetanus injection. He asked me if he really needed it. I told him yes but he could refuse if he didn't want to do so. He accepted the jab and dressing. I was too tired but still wrote a "FxxK" word at the allergy hx column on the front page of the patient chart. ( This ritual was started by one of my ex-colleauge in our hospital, a very prestige orthopedic surgeon (Korean, who is also a FACS and FICS - he got the honor while working in our small and humble hospital, contributed a good amount of papers and he is currently semi retired. One of the good all rounded surgeon who could repair nerve, vessel and do some plastic job .....), but he wrote FK usually and I like to complete the 4 letters word instead.)

That guy was not drunk eventhough I could smell some alcohol scent from his breath.  Later the nurses told me he was nice during the waiting period and suddenly turn violence when I started the consultation. The nurses told me that he was a private ambulance driver and came to do some transfer in our hospital.  He had quit recently. Most of the private ambulances were operated by funeral home and most of them have relation with the mob. But it was not the reason I did want to give him a good lesson. I would be at his level if I do so and I did not want to make dirty my hand....

I just hate this kind of trouble seeking jester and would really like to give them a good whacking ( in my imagination of coz...)  Anyway - hope he is "repaired" by someone elsewhere at some point of his life....

ass in the hole.....

Another surprise....

well... It had been a year since my return to this hospital.... well, I think I consider my self lucky (despite the worsen astham...). I got an additional cash reward (my annual leave converted ..). I had another surprise 2 days ago.... I am the employee of the year .... well, still don't know about the benifit I could gain from it(definitely uncomparable as the cermelang award of the MOH...) but I am happy. Nothing to do with performance - the employee of the year were elected....won't happen next year - the electee would not be entitled the following year...

This is my 12th year since I joined the employee line up - never been nominated or choosen before. I remembered back in those days when I was still serving the MOH - my district medical officer had told us during a talk that don't even think about cermelang if you have not work under him for 5 years. And if any staff have wanted the award badly - please talk to him. In my memory - the cermelang award come with a 1 months basic pay and 1 wks leave( correct me if I am wrong....). I heard other workers in the office told me that the cermelang award are given out on rotation basis - everyone would have the chance to get the award if you worked long enough....

well, it reminds me to keep up the good job... Nope ..good attitude towards my colleague....